ah. i really want a cup of honey tea. i read some chapter of kuroshitsuji
and it surprised me really well.. i didn't know if the plot story from the manga and
animation would be different. if ciel in animation doesn't die, so will he die in manga?
this is frustrating me even more. LOL ♥ Shout(0)
Written @ 7:49 PM
i learned my lesson. i hurted a man once. and this is what i got.
this been the worst, i hope i will get the sweetness from now on.
im sorry. im really sorry. i wish i could turning back to the time.
i would never hurt you.
i would try harder to understand you.
i would love you, dearly and faithfully.
time passed. it's only regret left.
im happy he found happiness. i must find mine too.
dear God, don't let me hurt anyone and gimme a change to love once again
first, i wanna say thank you for my babe to be by my side on my birthday. but i hope i can be more grow up after this. well, esp about my life. i wanna be success for my self and can help my family ever after. that's my best wish.
thinking about relationship, i think i can be more mature on it. from now on. i'll just talking to my blog like talking to him. it's gonna be fun :)
it's been a half of year i've been in love with him. we're good, but not really. there's some problem between us. he became what he is. actually some of my friends said
"guys always like that, he'll become whatever we want at the 1st/2nd month but after 4th they change to be what they are, and sometimes dragging us to be his dream girl,"
well, i kinda agree with it. but i didn't regret it, i love him for what he is. i don't know if he loves me like the way i do. sometimes i just wondering. does he?
and what i feel today is, he become too easy... he feels save with this, he sometimes heard like being bad mood all the way, without any reason for me. maybe it's me, made him mad or just feels lazy to talk to me. well, this is my punishment... i was like that too to my ex boy friend. but i was really sure i didn't have any hard feeling towards my ex that's why it's easy for me to ignore.
now i'm in despair to know... is he feel that way too for me? if he get tired of me and regret to have this relationship just please tell me, and i'll try my best to make it better if he wants too. i hate to live with negative thought like this. all the thing we've been trough i always think of the past. i scared to death weather i'm being played, and all the thing he said on the 1st month just a lie...
and i know i supposed to forget the past to forgive my self, but i can't. the book is closed but i still keep it because the unfinished business. well, i wish i can throw it away and dump it to the sea. i need more time to forget and forgive my self, and believe a man once again.
the question is, will we be make it till the end? well, that's the God's plan. we just go through with it. but for now.. this moment i can surely said that i love him with every cells in my body, not just with my heart.
Please God i want to believe & makes me believe, that he's the one. if he's the one from You for me.
My hearts environment split in two, what should I do? Because there can't be enough capacity to control it I let my innocent feelings get thrown out by a vauge language The life wants to highlight the point confirming a spot now somehow
it slowly turning out like this. admitting that they're addicted to the love, and they can't control their affection. hopefully i got a different end from this.
Why everyday do you say goodbye in each and every way, baby? Looking straight this way to escape reality linking to indivisible heart I wonder if there is good somewhere, asking myself to flip it around Ask myself, ask yourself, answer your own questions aaaa
here when the girl being addicted to the boy, nagging him to where ever he is. kinda disturbing for guys, so don't mess with the innocent girl.
He's got an instinctive touch, but I want to say no It hurts me, touch me, I'm gasping, I might go to heaven Anywhere, anytime, twice, thrice, in that place, in this place Just jump into that right now
so obvious, the patern i don't need to explain more.
Threaten me with chains more
yeah all the things are just chaining the two people more, esp the innocents. more of it, it will become love and hate situation and confusing relationship between love and lust.
well.. i just worried. screw this song. ♥ Shout(0)
Written @ 6:36 PM
I love him, but he made me think he doesn't really love me. he's been deceived and disappointed by the girl in his past. he's scare of being in love (i think) or just traumatized by the past. helooo, im not that kind of girl. he sounds like he never believe me anyway. that is so hurtful to me, somehow i feel like im being like HIM and he was the b*tch from his past who dumped him. it's not fair for me, i feel like he could dumped me like a TRASH in every second while my brain can not stop thinking about him. should i love him half-heartily like he did to me and more careless, or love him whole-heartily and being hurt like this? honestly, it's torturing me.
i need to know, is he really will do anything for me? like what will i do for him (of course except anything which is forbidden in Holy Quran). and what im thinking is, he didn't love me, just lusted me and my look. not my personality and my caring for him. he thinks girls are taking anything from a boy. but does he ever thought that i ever think boys are just taking anything from a girl??